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Week 5 - thursday
[Ichigo seeks out Akira this time, after a week of keeping to himself - His partner might have noticed that Ichigo was making more of an effort to reach out to people this week, to talk to them then he has before.
He's finally starting to live more, to smile more, to trust others again -
But that doesn't take away from what has to happen this week - the weekly murder that Akira's team has to do, and honestly?
He knows it's Akira's turn.
So when he finally pulls Akira aside to talk, it's in the mattress store, in an area away from where most everyone else has claimed beds, to talk about that night.
And the first things out of his mouth?]
Let me help you tonight, Akira.
He's finally starting to live more, to smile more, to trust others again -
But that doesn't take away from what has to happen this week - the weekly murder that Akira's team has to do, and honestly?
He knows it's Akira's turn.
So when he finally pulls Akira aside to talk, it's in the mattress store, in an area away from where most everyone else has claimed beds, to talk about that night.
And the first things out of his mouth?]
Let me help you tonight, Akira.
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[. . .]
[his hands curl into fists at his side, and he tilts his chine up, determined]
No.
[it isn't that he doesn't trust Ichigo. on the contrary; his partner is one of the people he trusts the most in the entire Game]
You've been forced to kill enough. [he drops a hand on one of the ones on his shoulder, squeezing lightly] I would never ask you to carry that burden again, when you don't have to.
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He's a killer. A reaper, a true Shingami - and yet, Akira doesn't want him to kill? He doesn't want Ichigo being involved, in carrying this burden -
Even though he knows what that burden will do to someone if they try to carry it alone, even though he didn't want that for Akira, for someone who became a reaper for such idealistic, beautiful reasons -
It's like his world crashes around his ears, abject terror and a deep desperateness flooding into his eyes as he squeezes down hard enough to hurt on his partner's shoulders.]
NO!
[He's practically hyperventilating as he speaks, clearly upset to the point of panic.]
Akira, you don't - you shouldn't - you don't even know how to set this up! You'll be found out, and then, you'll - I have to come with you, I have to make sure you'll be alright, I don't want you to be like me!
[He shudders and shakes, feeling like his mind is collapsing just from that single sentence.]
That's why - let me come with you! I can - I can do it, this isn't about the burden! I have enough blood on my hands, what's another body! Akira! Don't- Just let me do the only thing I'm good at for you!
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[despite the panic, Akira's voice is level and soft. his fingers are brushing up against his partner's cheeks again, and he doesn't look away from those panic-stricken eyes. not now]
. . . have you ever thought about your psych? [???] You've used it to heal a lot of people, and chase away a lot of pain. You've brought Players and Reapers alike relief, and some of them may have even died without your help.
[his thumbs brush against the lines of his partner's face, tracing, memorizing every angle]
For this Game. . . for once in your afterlife. . . you've been told to protect and heal, not hurt.
You should embrace that.
[because Ichigo is good at so much more than just taking lives]
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He can barely believe it - but Akira so clearly means every little word, that he practically just -
falls to pieces in Akira's hands, his expression turning pained and tearful, even as he lets go of his partner's shoulders to try and bring him into a hug.]
I, I -!
[Embrace that? Embrace that he has been helping more people than he's been hurting, even after all this time?
He feels like he can't. He feels like he shouldn't, and yet -
He so desperately wants to.]
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That's why I said no.
[he continues]
It's my turn to carry this burden. Trust me, okay?
[. . .]
Actually. . . I want to give you something.
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[He doesn't know what to say. He still thinks that he should go, that he should help, but...
He relents. Because, even if he's afraid of this hurting Akira, changing him...He trusts Akira to know what he wants to do.
And he'll respect that, no matter how much he's afraid.]
....What is it?
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Undine used this to kill Chuuya. [it's a feather] It amplifies the power of our psychs.
I think it would be the most potent in your hands.
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...More potent in my hands, huh...
[He knows what Akira is getting at - that the feather holds the power to strengthen his cure drink, to make his healing stronger. To make his ability to help people that much more powerful, and he...
...Feels so, so grateful that he met someone like Akira, not for the first time.]
...Thank you.
[It's said quietly, but for the first time in this conversation of theirs?
He smiles - truly smiles.]
I'll keep it safe.
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[what use does Akira have for a psych enhancing feather, anyway? all he can do is turn invisible. there isn't really a way to amplify that, is there? but healing. . . curing people, erasing their wounds like they were never there? is a much needed skill in an environment like this one]
[Ichigo will do a lot more with the feather than Akira ever could. and he really believes that]
[. . .]
[and that smile. . .]
[with that taken care of, Akira pinches the edges of his glasses, pushing them up to the top of his head as he leans in to kiss that smile]
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'I'll keep it safe.'
He really did mean it, in the end.
But that's then, and this is now - and he easily sees Akira coming in for the kiss, his smile widening as he places the feather in his pocket so he can more easily wrap his arms around his partner, drawing him in with a small, happy noise.
He's still a little worried - he always will be - but he's had enough time around Akira to know that no matter what happens, he'll be able to overcome it, just like he always does.
Unbreakable. That's how Ichigo thinks of Akira, of those gray eyes and that gentle smile. He's unbreakable in a way that Ichigo once thought he was, and - that's a treasure all of its own, isn't it?
He backs up towards a nearby bed, drawing him in so they can both be more comfortable while they do this. It's getting pretty late besides, and he knows it might be a good idea for both of them to rest before tonight.
(Tonight, because...he knows, deep in the pit of his stomach, that this will probably be the last time he can do this.)]
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[he heeds Ichigo's movements, steps in time with him as his partner tugs him along. it is getting pretty late, and Akira. . . Akira's going to need a bit of rest before curfew kicks in]
[or at least some time to not think about what crimes he's going to be committing tonight]
[one arm slides around Ichigo's neck, to keep him close, as they move. because Akira isn't breaking this kiss, not yet]
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(ah, but it would be so nice if he loved him back, wouldn't it?
No, that's something he shouldn't even think about
it's not something he deserves, anyway
better to just appreciate this while he still has it)
The backs of his knees hit the bed, and he brings Akira down with him on the bed as they kiss, trying not to break it off for a second. It's difficult, but eventually he ends up in a comfortable position on his side, stopping the kiss just so he can mutter out -]
Love you...
[Before diving right back into the kiss, still just as lovestruck as he always is around his partner, hands curling into Akira's shirt.]
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[and his heart slams to a stop, heat lighting up his cheeks, his breath catching in his throat, and he wonders, as someone who has never been in love before, what it feels like]
[. . . he brings one hand up, fingers curving gently around Ichigo's cheek to frame his face, mouth parting to draw Ichigo even deeper into their flurry of kisses. if such a thing is possible]