Week 4, post execution - All Reaper Meeting

[bladeisme]

[Today...

Had been a hell of a thing. He hadn't expected to get an extra execution and go down a member in the same day, but -

It was almost a blessing. Now, they could go all out - and not worry about what would happen next, or leaks from people they worked with. Now, everything was set - and they only had three more weeks to go.

The time for hiding and trying to kill each other had passed. Now? If they wanted the dead to come back, there was only one option available to them.

To work together, and lead the players to the conclusion the Composer wanted.

Ichigo tells everyone to meet up in the Bookstore, a few hours after the execution and everything has settled down. He's sitting on the couch in there, reading - or trying to read and failing - as everyone shuffles in, looking up whenever someone arrives. And when they're all there?

He takes a breath,and closes his book.]

...So.

Let's talk.

Comments

[allsetfree]

[ Alex has to mull this over for a minute. because - yes. that is naive. people die, and despite her job, and despite her hypocritical desire to save whoever she can, just like Akira is saying... Alex is also at peace with the whole concept. people die, and this is a game about a second chance. that's great, and she wants to give it to them, but it's not something they are owed just for having the potential to grow as people.

honestly it's - all paradoxical. her attitudes toward death and her job. how she does her job.

... she still wants to help people. she still wants to save who she can. all that seems impossible to articulate. ]

Yeah, yeah.

[purrtagonist]

[it may be paradoxical, it may seem contradictory, but hey. weren't all people that way? in the end, so long as she tries. . . Akira will be there, right alongside her]

I never apologized for lying to you, by the way.

[as though she hadn't also lied to him]

So-- I'm sorry about that.

[allsetfree]

[ she's been - trying not to think about this. But with the mention of it... ]

That's not what I'm mad at you for.

[purrtagonist]

[. . . oh]

[he blinks, clearly surprised at that response]

What are you mad at me for. . .?

[allsetfree]

How do you think it feels to stand by yourself and watch everyone flock to comfort your brother's murderer?

[purrtagonist]

[. . . . . . oh]

[he pauses for a long moment, before he looks away from her, expression softening. there's something akin to guilt on his features. guilt and understanding?]

Shitty.

[pretty damn shitty. he gets it]

I'm sorry; you have every right to be angry.

[but Akira's perspective. . . was also a weird one. considering his position in this Game-- the role the Composer has given him-- was to decide who lives and who dies every single week]

[casting judgment on Miki, when he is who he is? felt. . . hypocritical]

[allsetfree]

[ see, Alex can forgive Reaper kills. she's a Reaper too. there are rules. there's a script. you can only deviate from the script so much.

but a Player doesn't have those rules. Miki killed for love, sure, but people die, and you can't undo it. and if you choose to try to undo it by trading? that's an even weaker choice. ]

I know I do.

[ but, well. they're teammates, now. they've got an alliance going on, and - here's the thing? the people who comforted Miki? they were some of the people Alex liked the most.

she tries to look casual. tries to make a joke. she's usually so good at those. ]

But, hey. No one knew how to handle me when Michael died, either.

[purrtagonist]

[it's only now that he's realizing the depths of his fuck up, especially since Alex-- along with Miki, actually-- is also one of the people he likes here the most. it's. . . complicated]

[he turns back to her, brows raised]

Michael?

[allsetfree]

[ yeah. Alex had liked Miki, too.

she leans back a bit in her seat. ]

My real brother.

[purrtagonist]

[oh]

. . . what happened to him?

[allsetfree]

He drowned.

I - asked him to take me swimming. Before he moved away, when he graduated.

[purrtagonist]

[oh no]

Alex. . .

[god. it's natural for Jonas's death to hit her hard already. but in conjugation with that memory?]

Do you. . . blame yourself?

[allsetfree]

No.

[ yes. ]

[purrtagonist]

You shouldn't.

[like he sees right through that answer]

[allsetfree]

I said no.

[purrtagonist]

. . . all right.

[she says that forcefully enough for him to drop it there. this Confidant isn't high enough for him to push just yet]

[allsetfree]

It's just...

[ not pushing is sometimes the best way to get people to open up. ]

It's not like it was some cosmic destiny for it to happen. For anything to happen. Just bad luck, and you have to take things... As they are.

But I've seen what happens if I didn't ask him. If we didn't go, Michael lives. If I hadn't asked, he would still...

[purrtagonist]

[ah. . .]

Is this the time loop thing you mentioned to me before?

[it must be painful, to know that there are timelines where one, single choice changes everything]

[allsetfree]

Yeah. I mean. Sort of?

Time was... Flexible. In the loops. I'm not sure if it was always that way, or if it was me. But sometimes I got thrown back to before it happened. I got to talk to him. And I got to see the ripples of it, when I came back.

[purrtagonist]

That almost sounds terrifying.

[to have that much power. to be able to see that much. normal humans like Akira only got to see time as it marched forward. but to people like Alex. . . the knowledge of every unlimited possibility in the universe must be overwhelming]

[or, perhaps, it's just him?]

[allsetfree]

[ it is terrifying. seeing just how much control you had over every little thing that you did or said so thoughtlessly. having the power to erase people from existence, to kill people or to save them. controlling other people's relationships.

at least in the loops it wasn't entirely real. time marched on for the people she saved, only repeating itself and changing around her. that meant - mistakes stopped mattering. that meant you didn't really have to worry about consequences anymore, because the only time they mattered was done and gone forever.

but now things are real again. time moves forward, and your actions have consequences. and you don't get to know what you're doing right or wrong until it's too late. ]

... It wasn't so bad.

[ at least she got to see him again. talk to him again. ]

[purrtagonist]

Mmm.

[again, it's like. . . he can see between the lines of what she's really saying. but pressing earlier had gotten him a hostile response, and so. . .]

You're brave, Alex.

[allsetfree]

I don't think so. But... Everything's gotta be up to someone.

[ so, why not up to her? ]

[purrtagonist]

Maybe.

[but she could have turned away from it, couldn't she? he isn't exactly sure, so he asks for clarification]

Why were you involved with the time loops, anyway?

[allsetfree]

Me and Jonas - we were the ones that opened the rift back up. And someone had to close it.

[ well. the rift itself didn't necessarily require the loops. but... ]

The loops kept me grounded. Stopped me from... Losing myself the same way as the ghosts.