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Week 2, Post-trial
[God. That trial was....something. Back at the live house, when he's finished talking to people, he flops down on one of the beds, burying his head in his hands and breathing in and out slowly.
All of this - Junko being a reaper, there being seven goddamn reapers- it's enough to make him want to scream, cry, or do both at the same time.
But he doesn't want to do that, so...He'll just stay like this, for the time being. At least, until someone disturbs him.]
All of this - Junko being a reaper, there being seven goddamn reapers- it's enough to make him want to scream, cry, or do both at the same time.
But he doesn't want to do that, so...He'll just stay like this, for the time being. At least, until someone disturbs him.]
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It's...nice, to have physical contact when you're not feeling the greatest.]
Ah - no. I had to talk to some people - make sure they were alright, and...
[He grimaces.]
Some people here aren't the greatest.
[Though it's not clear what exactly he's referring to.]
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[so it isn't that statement he latches onto. it's what Ichigo says first]
Talk to some people. . .?
[a gentle question, although he isn't sure what he expects as an answer. either way, he brushes his thumb gently across Ichigo's knuckles]
And we all know some people here aren't the greatest. After what we've seen. . . that isn't a surprise.
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[He looks down at his hands - one of which is getting rubbed and he's trying very hard not to focus it or show that it's flustering him a little, because that's his own issues - and swallows, before looking back up.]
Some of them just get on my nerves, is all. They think - that they know all the answers, and it'd be easy if we followed them. That doing terrible things here will somehow end up justifying the means.
[There's an intense bitter note in his voice as he talks, and Akira will notice his gaze goes incredibly hard and angry.]
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What answers? [to what questions? why they're here? why the Composer is doing this?] And what does that mean. . . doing terrible things to justify the means?
[what is he missing that Ichigo isn't??]
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[More that he can't really explain, no matter how much he wanted to. Things were secret for a reason, and he shakes his head.]
Some people I've talked to think it'd be better if we just started taking out suspicious people, is all. I tried to talk them out of it, but...I don't know.
[He's still and silent for a moment, before looking back at Akira.]
...Akira? You're - you're someone I trust, no matter what. Alright? I want you to know that. We're in this together, so...I won't let you down. I promise.
[And nothing will change his mind on that.]
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[and the second part of what Ichigo says? about trust? that gets him to inhale sharply, and let it out slowly through his nose]
Mmm.
[a tiny smile, as tired as it is]
I trust you, too. Regardless of what happens, we're still partners. Aren't we?
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[...]
...Or, at least, until one of us gets killed. But...I'm not counting on being killed just yet.
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[he is going to amend that statement]
I don't plan on dying at all, Ichigo. I'd hope you feel the same way.
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[But for a moment?
He hesitated.
And that speaks volumes.]
I won't die. Not when your life's still tied to mine.
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What would you do if your life weren't tied to mine?
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He almost looks like he wants to say something, but thinks better of it - and eventually just shakes his head.]
...I don't know.
Maybe ask one of the Reapers to take me out instead of someone who actually wanted a second chance.
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Ichigo. . .
[it's only been three weeks, but. . . he had kind of hoped Ichigo would have found his answers by now. does he still really feel that way?]
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[He's silent at that, closing his eyes.]
It's not what you wanted to hear, right? ...Sorry.
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It isn't a matter of what I want to hear or not.
[this isn't about him. it's about Ichigo. this is Ichigo's journey, isn't it?]
In the beginning, I asked you to let me guide you towards your answers. Remember?
I just wish I knew how to help you find them.
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[Maybe there's only pain.]
...
I'm, uh - tired. I think - I'm going to sleep.
[He physically pulls away from Akira, not looking at him.
And pulling away from him emotionally, as well.]
Night, Akira.
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[he reaches out, snagging Ichigo's sleeve with his hand]
Hey.
[he doesn't like forcing people to talk when they don't want to, but. . .?]
I'm here, all right? If you want to keep talking.
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When he looks back, it's so very, very vulnerable. He looks at Akira with wide eyes, a gaze that speaks of a deep, old pain, a tiredness that feels years old, beyond what he's said happened to him.
But then he draws back, shakes his arm out of Akira's grasp, and turns away again, unnerved at how quickly his partner could make his drop his guard like that.
You're slipping, Ichigo.]
I, uh - I don't really...feel much like talking anymore.
[Get away get away get away get away don't get attached]
Maybe later.
Goodnight.
[And like that?
He slips away.]
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[. . .]
[but for a moment-- just. . . just one moment-- there was something in Ichigo's gaze that was different than anything Akira had seen before. something more genuine, but also something a little more worrying]
[. . . what was it?]